18 Questions for A Christian to Ask on a First Date

First dates can feel overwhelming, especially when you want to discover if someone shares your faith and values.

These thoughtful questions help you move beyond surface conversation to explore deeper compatibility while keeping the atmosphere comfortable and engaging.

Faith Foundation Questions

1. “How would you describe your relationship with God right now?”

This question opens the door to understanding where your date stands spiritually without feeling like an interrogation.

You’ll learn whether they view faith as a personal relationship or merely a cultural tradition.

Listen for authenticity rather than perfect answers.

Someone who admits they’re growing or struggling often demonstrates more genuine faith than someone who claims spiritual perfection.

The way they answer reveals their comfort level discussing faith topics.

If they seem uncomfortable or give vague responses, this might indicate different spiritual priorities than yours.

You can follow up by sharing your own spiritual journey, creating mutual vulnerability that deepens the conversation naturally.

2. “What does your typical Sunday look like?”

This seemingly casual question reveals priorities and spiritual habits without directly asking about church attendance.

Their answer shows how they structure their week around faith activities.

You’ll discover if they attend church regularly, serve in ministry, or prioritize family spiritual activities.

Their Sunday routine often reflects their spiritual commitment level.

Some people attend church but rush out immediately afterward, while others invest time in fellowship, small groups, or service opportunities.

These details matter for long-term compatibility.

If they don’t mention church at all, you can gently ask about their spiritual community or how they nurture their faith outside traditional settings.

3. “Who has been the biggest spiritual influence in your life?”

This question uncovers the people who shaped their faith journey and reveals what kind of spiritual mentorship they value.

Their answer provides insight into their spiritual maturity and growth.

Listen for whether they mention parents, pastors, friends, or biblical figures.

The type of influence they describe shows what spiritual qualities they admire and want to emulate.

You’ll also learn about their openness to spiritual guidance and whether they seek out godly mentors.

This indicates how they approach spiritual growth and accountability.

Their response might reveal family dynamics, church experiences, or personal struggles that shaped their current faith perspective.

4. “What’s your favorite Bible verse or passage, and why?”

This question goes beyond checking if they know scripture to understanding what aspects of God’s character resonate most with them.

Their chosen passage reveals their spiritual focus and personal needs.

Someone who loves verses about God’s love might prioritize grace and relationship, while someone drawn to verses about perseverance might value strength and endurance in faith.

Notice whether they can explain why the passage matters to them personally. This shows they’ve internalized scripture rather than just memorizing verses.

If they struggle to answer, don’t judge harshly. Instead, share your own favorite passage and ask what themes in scripture appeal to them most.

Values and Life Philosophy Questions

5. “What role do you think faith should play in major life decisions?”

This question reveals how they integrate faith with practical life choices like career moves, financial decisions, and relationship commitments.

You’ll understand their approach to seeking God’s guidance.

Some Christians pray about everything, while others believe God gave them wisdom to make good choices independently.

Neither approach is wrong, but compatibility matters for shared decision-making.

Listen for balance between spiritual dependence and personal responsibility.

Healthy believers usually combine prayer with practical wisdom and godly counsel.

Their answer shows whether they view faith as compartmentalized or integrated throughout their entire life approach.

6. “How do you handle conflict or disagreements?”

While not specifically religious, this question reveals character traits that affect spiritual relationships.

Christians should demonstrate forgiveness, humility, and peacemaking in conflicts.

You want someone who can disagree respectfully, admit when they’re wrong, and work toward resolution rather than winning arguments or harboring resentment.

Ask follow-up questions about specific examples if they give general answers.

Real-life conflict resolution reveals true character better than theoretical responses.

Notice whether they take responsibility for their part in conflicts or consistently blame others.

Mature believers acknowledge their own shortcomings and growth areas.

7. “What does biblical love look like to you in a relationship?”

This question explores their understanding of Christian love beyond cultural definitions of romance.

You’ll learn whether they grasp concepts like selflessness, commitment, and serving others.

Listen for references to scripture like 1 Corinthians 13 or Ephesians 5, but focus more on practical applications than theological knowledge.

How do they envision living out biblical love daily?

Their answer reveals expectations for how they want to be loved and how they plan to love others. This sets the foundation for relationship dynamics.

You might discover differences in love languages, service expectations, or communication styles that need consideration for future compatibility.

8. “How important is it that your friends share your faith?”

This question uncovers their approach to relationships with non-believers and reveals their evangelistic heart or lack thereof.

You’ll understand their social circle and influence priorities.

Some Christians maintain close friendships with non-believers for evangelistic purposes, while others prefer primarily Christian community for spiritual growth and accountability.

Neither approach is inherently right or wrong, but different philosophies might create tension in marriage when choosing couple friends or raising children.

Their answer also reveals how they balance being “in the world but not of it” and whether they tend toward isolation or over-integration with secular culture.

Future Goals and Direction Questions

9. “Where do you see yourself spiritually in five years?”

This forward-looking question reveals their commitment to spiritual growth and helps you understand their trajectory.

Stagnant believers might not prioritize continued maturity.

Listen for specific goals like Bible study habits, ministry involvement, or character development areas they want to address.

Vague answers might indicate lack of intentional spiritual planning.

You’ll discover whether they view faith as static or dynamic, and whether they seek ongoing transformation or feel satisfied with their current spiritual state.

Their spiritual goals often align with life goals, showing how faith influences their overall direction and priorities for the future.

10. “What kind of ministry or service do you feel called to?”

This question explores their sense of purpose beyond personal spiritual growth. You’ll learn whether they view faith as primarily personal or inherently missional.

Some people feel called to formal ministry, while others serve through their careers, community involvement, or family life.

Both approaches honor God when done with intentionality.

Notice whether they’ve thought seriously about their calling or seem indifferent to serving others. A heart for service often indicates spiritual maturity and selflessness.

Their ministry interests might complement or conflict with yours, affecting how you could serve together as a couple in the future.

11. “How do you envision balancing career ambitions with faith priorities?”

This practical question reveals their approach to work-life integration and whether they view career success as compatible with spiritual devotion.

You’ll discover their attitude toward money, status, and achievement, and whether they prioritize eternal values over temporal success.

Balance is key in healthy Christian living.

Listen for wisdom about using career gifts to serve God while maintaining proper priorities around family, church, and personal spiritual growth.

Their answer might reveal workaholism, lack of ambition, or healthy integration of faith and work that aligns with your own career approach.

12. “What are your thoughts on tithing and financial stewardship?”

Money conversations might feel awkward on first dates, but financial values significantly impact marriage success. This question explores their approach to biblical financial principles.

You’ll learn whether they view money as God’s blessing to be stewarded or their own achievement to spend freely.

Different philosophies create ongoing tension in relationships.

Notice their attitude toward giving, saving, and spending.

Generous hearts often indicate spiritual maturity, while selfishness with money might reflect deeper character issues.

Some Christians tithe strictly, others give more flexibly, and some struggle with generosity.

Understanding their approach helps assess compatibility around future financial decisions.

Relationship and Family Questions

13. “What did you learn about marriage from your parents?”

This question reveals family background and relationship models that shaped their expectations.

You’ll understand positive patterns they want to repeat and negative ones they want to avoid.

Listen for insights about conflict resolution, communication styles, gender roles, and spiritual leadership they observed growing up.

These models deeply influence relationship expectations.

If they come from divorced or dysfunctional families, notice whether they’ve processed these experiences healthily or still carry unresolved pain that might affect future relationships.

Their answer shows self-awareness about how childhood experiences shape adult relationships and whether they’ve done the work to break negative generational patterns.

14. “How do you view biblical roles in marriage?”

This potentially sensitive question explores their understanding of biblical marriage principles and gender roles.

Different interpretations exist within Christianity, so compatibility matters.

You’ll discover whether they lean toward complementarian or egalitarian marriage models, and how they plan to live out concepts like submission, leadership, and mutual service.

Listen for balance between biblical principles and practical applications.

Healthy believers usually avoid extremes while honoring scripture in their specific context.

Their answer reveals expectations for decision-making, career priorities, and household responsibilities that significantly impact marriage dynamics.

15. “What are your thoughts on having children and raising them in faith?”

This crucial question explores family planning and parenting philosophy. You’ll understand their priorities around children and spiritual training responsibilities.

Listen for their approach to discipleship within the family, educational choices, and how they plan to pass faith to the next generation.

Some Christians prioritize large families, others prefer smaller families, and some remain uncertain about children. These preferences significantly affect life direction and compatibility.

Their answer reveals maturity about parenting responsibilities and whether they view children as blessings to steward or burdens to bear.

16. “How do you think couples should handle spiritual leadership in relationships?”

This question explores their practical understanding of spiritual dynamics in Christian relationships.

You’ll learn their expectations for prayer, Bible study, and spiritual decision-making as a couple.

Notice whether they expect one person to carry all spiritual responsibility or prefer mutual spiritual engagement.

Healthy relationships usually involve shared spiritual growth.

Their answer reveals comfort levels with spiritual vulnerability, leading others in prayer, and being led by others in spiritual matters.

You might discover differences in spiritual giftings, biblical knowledge, or confidence that affect how you’d function together spiritually.

Character and Personal Growth Questions

17. “What’s an area where you’re actively trying to grow spiritually?”

This question reveals self-awareness and commitment to ongoing spiritual development. Mature believers recognize areas needing growth and actively pursue change.

Listen for specific examples rather than general answers. Someone working on patience, forgiveness, or pride shows vulnerability and intentionality about character development.

You’ll discover whether they seek accountability, use spiritual disciplines, or have systems for personal growth. These habits indicate long-term spiritual trajectory.

Their willingness to share growth areas demonstrates humility and openness to feedback, important qualities for healthy relationships.

18. “How do you typically respond when God’s plan differs from your own?”

This final question explores their approach to surrender and trust when life doesn’t go as expected. You’ll understand their spiritual maturity during difficult seasons.

Listen for examples of how they’ve handled disappointments, closed doors, or unexpected challenges. Their responses reveal faith depth and emotional resilience.

You want someone who can trust God’s sovereignty while still pursuing goals and dreams. Balance between acceptance and action indicates spiritual wisdom.

Their answer shows whether they become bitter during trials or use difficulties to deepen faith and character.

Making These Questions Natural

Remember that first dates should feel conversational, not like interviews. Weave these questions into natural discussion rather than rapid-firing them in sequence.

Start with lighter questions and progress to deeper topics as comfort levels increase. Let their answers guide follow-up questions that keep conversation flowing naturally.

Share your own responses to create mutual vulnerability and prevent the evening from feeling one-sided. Dating should involve mutual discovery, not interrogation.

Some questions might not fit your specific date context, so choose the ones that feel most relevant and natural for your situation and personality.

Conclusion

These questions help you discover spiritual compatibility while building genuine connection.

Trust the Holy Spirit to guide your conversations toward lasting, faith-centered relationships.