Will He Ever Marry Me or Am I Wasting My Time? (40 Signs to Know)
You’ve been together for a while now, and the question keeps nagging at you. You love him, but you’re starting to wonder if he sees a future with you.
Marriage might not be everything, but if it matters to you, you deserve to know where you stand. You shouldn’t have to guess or hope forever.
These 40 signs will help you figure out if he’s serious about your relationship or if you’re just spinning your wheels. Trust your gut, but also trust the evidence.
Signs He’s Serious About Marriage
1. He Talks About Your Future Together
When he discusses plans, he naturally includes you. He says “we” instead of “I” when talking about next year’s vacation or where to live. You’re part of his mental picture of the future.
This isn’t just casual conversation. He actively seeks your input on major decisions and considers how they’ll affect both of you.
2. He’s Introduced You to His Family
You’ve met his parents, siblings, and extended family. More importantly, he wanted you to meet them. He’s proud to have you in his life and wants the important people to know you.
He includes you in family gatherings and holidays. You’re not just a plus-one; you’re part of the family dynamic.
3. He Talks About Marriage in General
He brings up marriage topics without you having to prompt him. He might mention friends’ weddings, share opinions about marriage, or ask about your views on various wedding traditions.
These conversations feel natural, not forced. He seems genuinely interested in your thoughts about marriage and relationships.
4. He’s Financially Responsible
He manages his money well and makes smart financial decisions. He talks about saving goals and future investments. You can see he’s building a foundation for a shared life.
He’s transparent about his financial situation and includes you in money discussions that affect your relationship.
5. He Makes Long-Term Plans With You
You’re both planning a vacation for next summer. He’s suggested moving in together or upgrading your living situation. He talks about adopting a pet together or other long-term commitments.
These aren’t just dreams—he takes concrete steps to make them happen.
6. He Prioritizes Your Relationship
When conflicts arise between you and other commitments, he chooses you. He makes time for your relationship even when life gets busy.
You feel like a priority, not an option. He proves this through his actions, not just words.
7. He’s Open About His Feelings
He tells you he loves you and explains why. He shares his emotions and vulnerabilities with you. You feel like you really know him as a person.
He doesn’t just say he loves you—he shows you through thoughtful gestures and consistent behavior.
8. He Asks About Your Ring Preferences
He’s casually asked about your taste in jewelry or what kind of engagement ring you like. He might have taken note when you admired someone else’s ring.
These questions seem natural and curious, not like he’s just making conversation.
9. He Includes You in Major Decisions
Before making big choices about his career, living situation, or major purchases, he talks to you about them. Your opinion matters to him.
He doesn’t make unilateral decisions that would significantly impact your relationship without discussing them with you first.
10. He’s Comfortable With Serious Conversations
When you bring up relationship topics, he engages thoughtfully. He doesn’t change the subject or get uncomfortable when you talk about your future together.
He contributes to these conversations and seems to enjoy planning and dreaming with you.
11. He’s Made Sacrifices for Your Relationship
He’s turned down opportunities that would negatively impact your relationship. He’s made compromises to accommodate your needs and preferences.
These sacrifices don’t feel forced or resentful—he makes them because your relationship matters to him.
12. He Talks About Having Children
If kids are important to you, he’s expressed similar desires. He talks about what kind of parent he wants to be or how he’d want to raise children.
These conversations happen naturally and he seems excited about the possibility of having a family with you.
13. He’s Consistent in His Affection
His love and attention don’t fluctuate dramatically. You feel secure in his feelings for you because he shows them consistently over time.
You don’t have to wonder if he’s still interested or if something’s wrong. His affection is steady and reliable.
14. He Defends Your Relationship
When others question your relationship or make negative comments, he stands up for you both. He doesn’t let outside opinions shake his confidence in what you have together.
He’s proud of your relationship and isn’t influenced by others who might not understand your connection.
15. He’s Grown as a Person Since Being With You
You can see positive changes in him since you’ve been together. He’s worked on issues, developed new habits, or made improvements because he wants to be better for you.
He values personal growth and sees your relationship as motivation to become his best self.
16. He Remembers Important Details
He remembers anniversaries, special dates, and things that matter to you. He pays attention when you talk and recalls details from previous conversations.
This shows he’s emotionally invested and values your shared history together.
17. He’s Comfortable With Public Displays of Affection
He holds your hand, puts his arm around you, and shows affection in public. He’s not embarrassed to be seen as your boyfriend.
He posts photos of you together on social media and doesn’t hide your relationship from anyone.
18. He Talks About Growing Old Together
He makes jokes or comments about being together when you’re both elderly. He might mention wanting to travel the world with you when you retire.
These references to a distant future show he sees your relationship lasting for decades.
19. He’s Close With Your Family
He makes an effort with your parents and siblings. He remembers their names, asks about their lives, and includes them in his thinking.
Your family likes him, and he seems to genuinely enjoy spending time with them.
20. He Shares His Problems With You
When he’s stressed or dealing with difficulties, he comes to you for support. He values your advice and perspective on important matters.
You feel like his partner in handling life’s challenges, not just someone he has fun with.
Warning Signs He Might Not Be Ready
21. He Avoids Marriage Conversations
Every time you bring up marriage or your future together, he changes the subject or gives vague responses. He seems uncomfortable with these discussions.
He might say things like “we’ll see” or “let’s not worry about that now” whenever the topic comes up.
22. He Hasn’t Introduced You to His Family
You’ve been together for a significant amount of time, but you still haven’t met his parents or close family members. He makes excuses or says it’s not the right time.
When family events come up, you’re not invited or he attends them alone.
23. He’s Secretive About His Finances
He won’t discuss money, savings, or financial goals with you. You have no idea about his financial situation or spending habits.
This secrecy might indicate he’s not thinking about a shared financial future.
24. He Only Makes Short-Term Plans
His plans with you don’t extend beyond a few months. He’s hesitant to book trips far in advance or make any long-term commitments.
When you suggest future plans, he seems noncommittal or changes the subject.
25. He’s Still Very Independent
He makes all his decisions without consulting you, even ones that affect your relationship. He maintains complete autonomy in his life.
You feel more like a casual companion than a true partner in his life decisions.
26. He Doesn’t Want to Live Together
He’s resistant to moving in together or taking the next step in your living situation. He seems to prefer maintaining separate lives.
When you bring up cohabitation, he has reasons why it’s not practical or necessary.
27. He Keeps You Separate From Other Areas of His Life
His friends don’t know much about you, and you rarely interact with his social circle. He compartmentalizes your relationship from everything else.
You feel like you only exist in certain parts of his life.
28. He’s Expressed Doubts About Marriage in General
He’s made comments about marriage being “just a piece of paper” or questioned why people need to get married. He seems skeptical about the institution.
These aren’t just philosophical discussions—he seems genuinely opposed to the idea.
29. He’s Not Emotionally Available
He doesn’t share his deeper feelings or vulnerabilities with you. Your conversations stay surface-level most of the time.
You feel like you don’t really know who he is underneath his public persona.
30. He Prioritizes Everything Else
Work, friends, hobbies, and other activities consistently come before your relationship. You often feel like you’re fighting for his attention.
When plans conflict, you’re usually the one who gets moved or canceled.
31. He’s Told You He’s Not Ready
He’s explicitly said he’s not ready for marriage or doesn’t know when he will be. He’s been honest about not being in that headspace.
When someone tells you this, believe them rather than hoping they’ll change their mind.
32. He Gets Defensive About Commitment Questions
When you ask about your future together, he becomes irritated or defensive. He might accuse you of being pushy or impatient.
These conversations turn into arguments rather than productive discussions.
33. He’s Still Healing From Past Relationships
He talks frequently about his ex or seems to be working through issues from previous relationships. He might not be emotionally ready for a new commitment.
You feel like you’re competing with his past rather than building a future together.
34. He Doesn’t Include You in Important Events
Weddings, work parties, family gatherings—you’re not his automatic plus-one. He attends significant events without thinking to invite you.
You feel excluded from the important moments in his life.
35. He’s Comfortable With the Status Quo
He seems perfectly content with your relationship exactly as it is and shows no interest in moving forward. There’s no sense of progression or growth.
When you mention wanting more, he doesn’t understand why you can’t just be happy with what you have.
Mixed Signals to Watch For
36. He Says He Wants Marriage “Someday”
He talks about marriage as something that might happen in the distant future, but he’s vague about timing or specifics. “Someday” never seems to get closer.
This keeps you hoping while avoiding any real commitment to moving forward.
37. He Makes Future Plans But Avoids Marriage Talk
He’ll plan vacations and discuss career moves with you, but marriage remains off-limits. He’s willing to make some commitments but not others.
This selective planning can be confusing and frustrating.
38. He Says He Loves You But Shows Inconsistent Behavior
His words don’t always match his actions. He tells you he loves you but doesn’t prioritize your relationship consistently.
You find yourself questioning his feelings based on how he treats you day-to-day.
39. He’s Waiting for Perfect Conditions
He says he wants to marry you but needs to achieve certain goals first—better job, more money, specific life circumstances. The goalpost keeps moving.
While some practical considerations are wise, endless delays might indicate cold feet rather than genuine planning.
40. He Gets Serious During Breakup Talks
The only time he talks about marriage or commitment is when you threaten to leave or actually break up. Suddenly he’s ready to take the next step.
This pattern suggests he’s more motivated by fear of loss than genuine desire to marry you.
Conclusion
Trust your instincts and pay attention to consistent patterns rather than isolated incidents.
You deserve clarity and commitment from someone who’s excited about a future with you.
